How to: be confident

'Experience tells you what to do; confidence allows you to do it,' Stan Smith, US tennis player. Gwen Cheeseman provides seven steps to self-confidence.

Don't be shy - if you describe yourself as shy it is more than likely that you care too much about what others think of you. This worry can be picked up on by others and they may treat you in a way that does little for your confidence.

Have your say - you must believe that what you have to say has real worth. Think about how you ask for and suggest things - do you sound apologetic or submissive?

Change your language - decide that you will never again use phrases such as 'sorry to bother you' and 'could you possibly'. Rehearse asking the same question in a polite but direct way, for example 'I'd like to...' or 'I'd like you to...'.

Don't apologise - get straight to the point rather than smothering your meaning with layers of apologies. If someone contradicts or questions your ideas, don't back down. Stand up for what you believe and if you can't win them over, agree to differ.

Posture is everything - do you sit and stand up straight? Hunched shoulders or folded arms make you look as if you'd prefer to be invisible. Standing tall gets you noticed. Your posture won't change overnight but practice will pay off.

Look them in the eye - always look interested and turn to face people when they talk to you. Maintaining eye contact shows you are confident in engaging and communicating with the person. Smile when appropriate, but not too much as it can be seen as insincere.

See weaknesses as strengths - think about how your 'bad quality' can help you. For instance "I may be a quiet person but this makes me a better listener and a more astute observer". Create a confidence bank - list moments of achievement, times you overcame difficulties etc, and keep cards and letters from friends and family that make you feel good. Whenever you need a confidence boost, simply dip in to your bank.