How to cope with rejection

'A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success,' - Bo Bennett, motivational speaker. Gwen Cheeseman helps you get over it.

Some things aren't meant to be - even if you get to the final stages of interview you still can't be sure you'll end up with the position you've applied for, and you should always be prepared for that. Sometimes a miscommunication means they can't offer the job to anyone, and financial cuts can mean the role is withdrawn at the last minute.

Let things go - if you're upset following an unsuccessful application, don't be afraid to go with your emotions. It's unhealthy to bottle your feelings up and it can do more harm than good. Choose a good friend or a member of your family that you can really talk to and tell them how you're feeling. This will help you move on and release any emotional tension you might be harbouring.

Know what you need - it may be that the job market has changed since you were last looking for work. Speak to people who are working in a similar role to those that you're trying for and make a list of the skills you might be missing. Find out what kind of people are being employed in these roles and how you can tailor your interview skills to make yourself more attractive to potential employers. Organise a meeting with a recruitment consultant. You don't have any obligation to sign up with them if you don't want to, but they may be able to give you a valuable insight into how to get the job you're after.

Don't be afraid to ask - when you have been turned down for a role, it may be daunting, but ask for some feedback as to why you were unsuccessful. If you're feeling low after being rejected it may seem like the last thing you'd want to do, but feedback can be invaluable. Gaining an insight often means you discover where you went wrong in the last interview, enabling you to succeed in the next. Make sure that it is clear when you write to them that you are seeking help in understanding why you weren't successful, not complaining because you didn't get the job.

Don't be negative - it's all too common to feel like a failure if you are knocked back from an interview. Focus on the areas you did well in and learn from what you did wrong. For example, if you feel you lacked confidence, ask a friend or colleague if you can practise your interview technique with them. And make sure you give your friend a list of any questions you felt you struggled with in your last interview.

Rejection, rejection, rejection - if you are rejected several times in a row, make sure you request feedback. Compare responses and see if you can spot a pattern or a particular point which is made by all of them. Rather than looking upon this negatively, realise that the feedback may help you unlock the key to your future job success. Remember that if you don't know what you're doing wrong, you can't fix it. Think positively - every job you don't get should teach you how to get your next one.