I win, you lose?

Learning how to deal with workplace conflict and confrontation can be good for your peace of mind and your career, as student accountant reports.

Some people will do almost anything to avoid conflict, inside and outside the workplace, but learning how to deal with it can bring many benefits to you, your co-workers and your employers. 'Conflict may seem to be unpleasant and unproductive,' says communications consultant Agatha Nash, 'but it is necessary for effective problem solving and for effective interpersonal relationships,' and meaningful work conflict is a vital component in any healthy, successful organisation.

Whether you like it or not, a certain amount of workplace conflict is unavoidable, and you simply have to deal with it. How you do this will depend on myriad factors, including the nature of the conflict, where you are in the chain of command, and who is involved in the conflict. In one scenario, you may need to know how to handle a negative co-worker, another might involve dealing with a bully (see Anti-bullying policy? box below), or you may need to manage and mediate a conflict between employees you are responsible for supervising, but the key to all of these situations is communication. 'Situations involving conflict can be a real test of your interpersonal skills,' says Nash, especially if you are new to the workplace, because your habitual approaches to conflict may prove inadequate. 'In your personal life, you can choose to avoid people you don't like, but you have to be able to get along with everyone at work, whether you like them or not,' she observes. This will come naturally to some of you, while others will need to make more of an effort.

Hidden depths

If you want to build relationships with people, you have to try to understand them. 'Ask them questions about things outside of work,' suggests Nash, and let them do most of the talking, 'because the more a person talks the more important they feel.' But what do you do if you give them this opening and they respond by sharing their negative perspective on a client, a co-worker, or your boss? 'This is tricky,' she says, 'because you may have to make some difficult judgement calls.'

If you are listening to the outpourings of someone who is habitually negative, you don't want to be drawn in. 'Their negative outlook could impact on your otherwise positive outlook,' cautions Nash, so try to avoid them, and if this isn’t possible, you may need to tell them that you prefer to take a more optimistic perspective on things. If they are persistently negative and their attitude has an impact on your work, you may need to speak to a supervisor or someone in HR. 'If you are unfortunate enough to find yourself in an organisation where the pervasive work culture is negative, you may want to consider a change of employer,' suggests Nash.

The situation can also be challenging when a normally balanced, positive, co-worker becomes negative. 'It can be enough to just listen to someone, and make sympathetic noises,' she says, but if one of your colleagues has a legitimate work-related grievance they may expect you to do more to support them. 'It isn't your job to provide professional counselling or career advice, but you can help by pointing people in a more positive direction, as long as you don't give people the benefit of your advice unless they ask for it,' she says.

If you listen to their concerns and decide that further action seems necessary, the way you behave will be determined by the situation, your role in it, your relationships with others involved or affected, and your place in the organisational hierarchy. 'It can be difficult to know how involved you should become,' says Nash, particularly if the situation creates ethical dilemmas, raises legal issues, or involves your superiors, when you may need support yourself.

'Having an informal chat with someone more experienced or specialised can be very comforting,' she comments, and if you don't have this luxury, you could try one of the many online forums for ACCA trainees and accountants. Attending local members' meetings or regional seminars can be useful if you can not find appropriate support in the workplace or at college, because you will get the opportunity to mix with seasoned professionals who may be prepared to give you the benefit of their experience.

Neutral language

All too often, conflicts simmer under the surface, festering and causing resentment, because people are trying to avoid confrontation. Arguments and disagreements can be unpleasant for onlookers and those involved, as well as having an adverse effect on morale, but some types of confrontation can be meaningful and constructive. If you are personally involved, Nash suggests trying to keep your emotions in check and use neutral language, if possible.

'Don't let your discontent or frustration come spilling out in an uncontrolled manner, think before you speak, and choose your words carefully,' she advises. When you are dealing with conflicts in your personal life, the words 'I feel' tend to be a recurring theme, but when discussing workplace issues, it is best to keep things as unemotional as possible. 'Talking about how you feel makes it very easy for your statements to be disputed, so try and stick to the facts,' she says, adding: 'Keep it short. Then give the person you are confronting an opportunity to respond.'

If you have management responsibilities, dealing with conflict will call for a variety of different tactics, depending on the situation. 'The approach you use when mediating between two staff involved in a dispute will be very different to the approach you take to get the best ideas from six people in a meeting,' says Nash. Both of them will reflect your personality and the management style you have adopted, but there are some tried and tested approaches that can increase your chances of success.

'If you are in a position of authority and you want to encourage others to express themselves, ask for their opinion on something before you tell them yours,' suggests Nash. Avoid verbal and non-verbal messages that discourage disagreement, and welcome constructive criticism. 'Encourage people to collect data and hard facts to support their assertions or opinions, and make a point of thanking everyone for their efforts, including those who have spoken out to challenge the direction of the group.'

Differences of opinion do not have to escalate into interpersonal conflicts, but if they do, you will need to manage them. 'Your sense of fairness may tell you to give each of those involved a chance to tell their side of the story, but this can be a big mistake,' warns Nash, because their positions may become even more polarised. Instead, mediate. 'Meet with those involved, let them each put their point across and say how they would like to see the matter resolved,' says Nash, then agree a plan of action.
'Whatever you do, don’t ignore conflict in the workplace,' she says, because it doesn't just affect those who are directly involved. 'If you don't deal with it, the situation can escalate, with colleagues taking sides and teams breaking down,' warns Nash, but by stepping in and taking a proactive approach you can help to create a better work environment for everyone.

Anti-bullying policy?

Your approach to bullying will depend on a range of factors, including whether you are a victim, a manager, or a witness to the behaviour. Victims need to take some time away from the workplace to assess their situation, advises Dr Gary Namie, a social psychologist. Check your mental and physical health with a professional, and decide whether to stay and fight or move on. Find out what (if any) policy your employer has in place relating to harassment and discrimination, and research the legal position.

'Document the bully's misconduct,' says Namie and gather data on the economic impact the bully has had on the employer. Discover turnover rates, calculate the costs related to absenteeism, recruitment, and lost productivity from interference by the bully, and present your case to the highest-level person who will listen. 'You may be able to convince them that the bully is too expensive to keep,' he suggests.

Many employees witness bullying in the workplace. If you are one of them you can choose to either actively support the victim, try to influence the behaviour of the bully, report the matter to a superior or to the HR department, or look the other way - which is the option 80% of employees apparently choose. It isn’t right, but 'not wanting to get involved' is a worldwide epidemic.

If you are responsible for managing staff, and you need to deal with bullying, it is easier with the support of formal guidelines. If these are not available, push for their development. 'Office bullies tend to target co-workers who are the best and brightest employees,' says Namie, as they are trying to drive away threats. So creating and following an anti-bullying policy can make the workplace a more productive and pleasant place to be, and have a positive impact on the bottom line.