A good friend and I are both in line for the same promotion at work. How can I try to make sure I get the job – without putting our friendship at risk?
Close friendships often develop between work colleagues. Many of these friendships can be long-lasting and rewarding, but the reality is that most dissolve as soon as one person leaves the company, because the factors that helped form the bond – shared bosses, workloads, successes and frustrations – no longer exist. So, although competing with office friends can create tensions, try to put these friendships into perspective. Deeper, more valuable relationships with partners, family, and friends outside work will hopefully always be there, however your career progresses.
To improve your own chances of promotion, ask your manager to outline the targets you have to meet, and in what timeframe. Use these targets to govern your priorities at work. Review them regularly, ideally with your manager, to give you an idea of how close you are to the promotion. Don’t be tempted to ask your boss about your friend’s performance, and it’s also unwise to discuss the situation with your friend, beyond perhaps an acknowledgement that you’re both in the running.
However, if the friendship is important to you in the longer term, and you’re the one who is eventually promoted, be sensitive to your friend’s feelings. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t celebrate your success. You’ve earned it – and a good friend should be happy for you. However, your priority will now be your new responsibilities (which may even include supervising your friend).
Should you be the one who loses out, ask your manager what you should do next time in order to gain a promotion, and try to seize something positive from the outcome. Then be generous – buy your friend a congratulatory gift. The chances are that they may feel as awkward as you do.